Forcing things

My strived-for persona is becoming obscure

Why fight my darkness?

Perfection remains tiring and demanding

Elusive mostly

Why not release all parts?

 

I am not sure

What sits beneath the surface

 

Have I ever known

Unconscious to me, it lurks

 

My deeply scripted self is tainted

Must be tainted – feels tainted

Needing to accept that

Embracing that

No longer protecting, pretending, holding back

 

The deeper callings of my soul remain chained

As I refuse to listen

As I refuse to talk

 

Nervousness persists

My world

Fragile … I believe

 

That part, the secret me

Condemned by me

Sanctioned into the roots of my reactivity

Needs care, needs befriending

A reconciliation with myself

 

My inner forces beckon

Shedding needs to happen

I need to face myself; introduce myself

No more condemning

Remove judgement

Patience

 

I am light and darkness